The Eulogy
They say the last thing to age in the human body is the heart.
I say that's because the heart feeds life to everything else,
and life has a funny way of wanting to sustain itself,
even up against, sometimes, the most undeniable odds.
My grandmother had an amazing heart
and courage beyond my imagination.
I used to think we were a lot alike,
but, at this moment, I know my strength pales in comparison to hers.
She lost a husband, and a son,
and we did our best to be strong for her,
but it was her strength that carried us through those difficult times.
The wisdom of her 91 years always shined through,
in her guidance and in her stories.
With this past year came a lot of adversity.
It brought us closer as a family,
and it defined who family is.
Life can hit pretty hard sometimes.
But it’s not about how hard you can hit,
it’s about how hard you can get hit
and keep moving forward.
It’s about how much can take
and find the strength to not give up.
Many times through this past year,
I watched my grandmother struggle,
but, never loose hope.
I watched her fall,
but, never stay down.
And, I watched her cry,
but, never give up.
Her spirit refused to be broken.
I think the one thing that kept her going
was the happiness she found from being with the people she loved.
She always had a saying.
Whenever we were having a difficult time with something,
she would say, “just throw it over your shoulder”.
I’d ask her, “what do you mean?”.
She’d say “just throw it over your shoulder, into that bag”.
I guess what she was saying was,
“let it go before it starts to eat away at you, and focus on being happy”.
The older we get,
the more we recognize
there’s a hole in our heart
and we’ll never fill it up,
but we have to keep doing the things we love,
no matter what it takes.
The older I get,
the more I realize
how much harder that becomes.
When we’re young,
we think life is tough.
But when we’re older,
it’s the loss of things;
it’s dealing with the constant sense that things are disappearing,
things that were so precious to us.
And, it begins to eat away at us.
And, it begins to eat away at our hearts.
So we keep digging deeper and deeper
to figure out how to keep that feeling alive;
how to hold onto that enthusiasm we felt so easily when we were younger.
And, standing on our own decisions
is one of the hardest things we’ll ever have to do.
It brings with it, glory,
when we’re victorious,
and pain,
when we’re not.
And, there’s always fear;
fear of the unknown;
fear of regret.
If we could have one more chance to make things better,
to make them right,
then everything would be OK,
and that fear would be gone.
But, we can’t go back,
not even in our minds.
And, tomorrow will come,
even if we choose not to accept it.
I don’t know what tomorrow will bring,
but, I know that right now,
there’s a hole in my heart.
And for my life,
I can’t begin to figure out how to fill it.
But, we keep moving forward
because that’s what we’re supposed to do.
We keep moving forward
because that’s what we have to do.
And, one day we’ll wake up,
and realize,
the hole is just a little bit smaller.
And, it’s the things we love
that we remember.
And, it’s the things we love
that fill the hole in our heart.
And, all the rest,
we just keep throwing over our shoulder,
……………………… into that bag.
They say the last thing to age in the human body is the heart.
I say that's because the heart feeds life to everything else,
and life has a funny way of wanting to sustain itself,
even up against, sometimes, the most undeniable odds.
My grandmother had an amazing heart
and courage beyond my imagination.
I used to think we were a lot alike,
but, at this moment, I know my strength pales in comparison to hers.
She lost a husband, and a son,
and we did our best to be strong for her,
but it was her strength that carried us through those difficult times.
The wisdom of her 91 years always shined through,
in her guidance and in her stories.
With this past year came a lot of adversity.
It brought us closer as a family,
and it defined who family is.
Life can hit pretty hard sometimes.
But it’s not about how hard you can hit,
it’s about how hard you can get hit
and keep moving forward.
It’s about how much can take
and find the strength to not give up.
Many times through this past year,
I watched my grandmother struggle,
but, never loose hope.
I watched her fall,
but, never stay down.
And, I watched her cry,
but, never give up.
Her spirit refused to be broken.
I think the one thing that kept her going
was the happiness she found from being with the people she loved.
She always had a saying.
Whenever we were having a difficult time with something,
she would say, “just throw it over your shoulder”.
I’d ask her, “what do you mean?”.
She’d say “just throw it over your shoulder, into that bag”.
I guess what she was saying was,
“let it go before it starts to eat away at you, and focus on being happy”.
The older we get,
the more we recognize
there’s a hole in our heart
and we’ll never fill it up,
but we have to keep doing the things we love,
no matter what it takes.
The older I get,
the more I realize
how much harder that becomes.
When we’re young,
we think life is tough.
But when we’re older,
it’s the loss of things;
it’s dealing with the constant sense that things are disappearing,
things that were so precious to us.
And, it begins to eat away at us.
And, it begins to eat away at our hearts.
So we keep digging deeper and deeper
to figure out how to keep that feeling alive;
how to hold onto that enthusiasm we felt so easily when we were younger.
And, standing on our own decisions
is one of the hardest things we’ll ever have to do.
It brings with it, glory,
when we’re victorious,
and pain,
when we’re not.
And, there’s always fear;
fear of the unknown;
fear of regret.
If we could have one more chance to make things better,
to make them right,
then everything would be OK,
and that fear would be gone.
But, we can’t go back,
not even in our minds.
And, tomorrow will come,
even if we choose not to accept it.
I don’t know what tomorrow will bring,
but, I know that right now,
there’s a hole in my heart.
And for my life,
I can’t begin to figure out how to fill it.
But, we keep moving forward
because that’s what we’re supposed to do.
We keep moving forward
because that’s what we have to do.
And, one day we’ll wake up,
and realize,
the hole is just a little bit smaller.
And, it’s the things we love
that we remember.
And, it’s the things we love
that fill the hole in our heart.
And, all the rest,
we just keep throwing over our shoulder,
……………………… into that bag.
White Words
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